The Romance Recession: A Crisis of Connection in a World of Abundance

The recent proliferation of dating events and services like The Feels has led some to assume that we are living through a golden age of romance. But scratch beneath the surface, and you’ll find a different story. According to an analysis by John Burn-Murdoch for the Financial Times, the proportion of 25-to-34-year-olds in marriages or cohabiting partnerships has dropped sharply since 1980, with college graduates experiencing a decline of almost 10 percentage points.

This trend is not unique to the United States. In a YouGov poll conducted in 2025, 69 percent of single respondents said they “rarely” or “never” go on dates. Furthermore, people are having less sex – from 2000 to 2018, the share of 25-to-34-year-olds who said they hadn’t had sex in the previous year almost doubled.

The irony is that, despite this abundance of possibility, many young adults are feeling increasingly disconnected. They’re not just lacking partners; they’re also struggling with intimacy and emotional connection. The notion that people need romance to be fulfilled is being challenged by a growing awareness that partnership is not inherently better than singlehood.

Allie Hoffman, the former CEO of a digital-media company who launched The Feels in 2022, has observed “a collective ‘this sucks’” among romance seekers. Her response? To expand her offerings and create new ways for people to connect – at a price, naturally. Level 2 Feels events cost up to $215, singles’ weekend retreats start at $1,300, and three matches based on a questionnaire and a phone call, plus six coaching sessions over three months, total $4,750.

The problem with this approach is that it reinforces the idea that connection must be purchased. We’re living in an era where intimacy has become a commodity, something to be bought and sold rather than cultivated and shared. The notion that we need a facilitator or a coach to help us navigate relationships is misguided – it’s not about finding someone to “level up” with; it’s about being willing to take the risk of vulnerability.

The Feels may have been designed to be the opposite of the disembodied experience of dating apps, but in the end, it’s just another iteration of the same problem. We’re still trying to find ways to replicate the thrill of connection without actually doing the hard work of getting to know someone. We’re still relying on technology and third-party facilitators to help us navigate relationships rather than taking responsibility for our own emotional lives.

As a society, we’ve been moving toward this point for decades: where marriage is not a prerequisite for social and financial survival, where we have other sources of purpose and community, and where there are many different ways to live a good life. But now that we’re here, the reality doesn’t feel quite so triumphant.

We need to rethink our approach to connection and intimacy. We need to stop buying into the idea that relationships must be perfect or successful in order to be fulfilling. And we need to start taking responsibility for our own emotional lives – rather than relying on coaches, facilitators, and dating apps to help us navigate the complexities of human connection.

The romance recession is a crisis of connection. We’re living in an era where intimacy has become a commodity, something to be bought and sold rather than cultivated and shared. It’s time to take a step back and reevaluate our priorities – and to start building relationships that are rooted in vulnerability, trust, and mutual respect.